Want, Order, Have

Now Playing: Steve Miller Band - Fly Like An Eagle

I was watching Demons the other day - the show is nothing special, except as a showcase for Philip Glenister's inexplicable "American accent" and if I were him, I wouldn't draw attention to it - when a character was told to read Bram Stoker's Dracula and asked, "Can I watch the movie instead?"

We - Generation Y for Youtube - take it for granted that a given text has been adapted for either the big or the small screen and further assumes that these adaptations are readily accessible, whether through Blockbuster, Netflix, or any of the plethora of legal and illegal download options. Caveat Lector: the faithfulness of the adaptation is never guaranteed. In fact, it cheers my cold, cynical heart to think of some hapless high school student writing about Hester Prynne and Arthur Dimmesdale's happy ending and promptly getting an F for his or her troubles.

In fact, we're not just the Youtube generation, we're the on-demand generation. I remember being lectured by a TA, "You guys have it so easy! When we had to look papers up, we had to actually go down to the library and look up references on index cards! All you guys have to do is sign on to Pubmed, work some key-word magic, and BAM!" (By this point, I realized that an extension on that assignment was highly unlikely.)

The cliche is coming true: the internet can bring most of the world to your finger tips if (a) you have a credit card or paypal account and live somewhere covered by major retail websites' shipping policies, or (b) you have good bandwidth and flexible ethics. The flipside of this is that "getting it done online" has gone from being one option among many to the only choice. If some horrible, Jericho-esque apocalyptic scenario does occur, the sound of clicking Ctrl + Z en masse will fill the land, fading out slowly as people die of radiation poisoning.

Or how about that other classic of apocalyptic fiction - the zombie epidemic?

"We're out of ammo and the zombies are getting through!"
"Don't worry, I ordered us fresh supplies from Amazon. One Day Rush!"
"There is no more Amazon, f***er!"

And then the crazy, right-wing, right-to-bear-arms, guns-and-ammo-stockpiling nutjobs will inherit the earth.

Stephen Gately, 1976 -2009

Now Playing: Boyzone - Words

Stephen Gately, Boyzone member, died this month. He was only the second celeb I ever had a crush on - the first was David Duchovny - and hearing of his death makes me feel old in ways a simple birthday could never do.

Rest in Peace, Stephen. I still have my Boyzone tapes, and your autograph, and that embarrassingly large poster tucked away somewhere and when my (imaginary, hypothetical) girls go through their boyband phase, I'll think of you and know how to deal. My teen self sends all her love.

Oh, what's the point?

There is no justice in the world when Tracey Emin makes enough money to qualify for the UK's top tax rate.

Tracey Emin - whose most famous work is arguably My Bed, which was pretty much her bed and associated detritus - stained sheets, used condoms, underwear stained with menstrual fluids (yes, really) as well as more workaday items such as slippers - earns more than 150,000 pounds a year. That's atleast 248,000 Canadian Dollars or 873,000 UAE Dirhams per year.

Don't even get me started on Damien Hirst.

Nostrada-Me

Now Playing: Bomba Estereo - Fuego

I've said it here already, but I want to repeat it so I can grumble, "I called it!" when Palin romps to victory in 2012:

Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize is less a Norwegian sigh of relief at the Bush Jr years coming to an end and more a giant right-wing conspiracy to ensure a Republican victory in 2012. First, moderate voters are going to think, "Well, what did Obama even do to win that Nobel? If he doesn't deserve the Nobel, why does he deserve the presidency?" Goodbye popular vote, goodbye landmark Northern Democrat electoral college victory! Next, this is going to hella cement the right-wing vote. "Anyone but Obama 2012! The Europeans like Obama, and everyone know's they're socialist and going to HELL!"

Seriously, that's the only way this award makes sense. I like Obama as much as the next left-wing pinko bleeding-heart liberal, but... no. Just, no.

Oh Dearie Me

Now Playing: Antonio Carlos Jobim - Desafinado

A bit of background - a woman is hanging with her friends on King Street in Toronto, guy comes up to her all SuperSmooth, she gives him her card to get him to go away, and he calls back. Via Jezebel, here's a transcript of the two messages he left her - that she forwarded to local radio station Z103.5 (Today's Hit Music!).

Message the first:

Hey Olga, it's Dimitri.

Sorry I had to leave such a rushed message with you when we met the other day. I just wanted to quickly give you my phone number, and needed to get the heck out of the area. In any event, I thought I had better leave you a more detailed message and explain why I approached you. I am single. I have no trouble meeting women; I mean, women approach me six or seven times a day. But I'm extremely particular about what I like.

You're an extremely elegant woman. I couldn't take my eyes off you, and your friends were very jealous — even if they say they weren't, they were envious of the fact that I approached you, and I was very taken by you. Elegant women are very rare. I'm Greek and I'm extremely particular about what I like. So I'm giving you an opportunity here. I don't know if you picked up the message on the weekend but I'm working on a movie script so I'll be doing that all weekend…

This looks like a land line, and if it is you may not get the message till Monday. But when you do, call me and we'll get together for coffee or drinks, and let the romance begin. You looked very taken aback by my approach, and I hope that wasn't timidness, I hope it was just shock at being approached so directly. Because I don't really date timid women, because I'm a very direct, very passionate, very assertive man, and I want a woman who is very independent and strong. So… we'll talk about that, but I just wanted to formally introduce myself. I leave the ball in your court. You call me as soon as you have the courage to. Okay, Olga? Talk to you soon, bye.

Message the Second:

Hi there, Olga it's Dimitri calling again, the guy from the street.

I left you a message several days ago you said you were interested. Now, here's the way I work. I don't like leaving second messages but I like you, you're a very elegant woman, you're very attractive, but, you know, I don't play that game. I know your friends tell you not to return calls; you're playing games like you see in stupid TV shows.

So here's how it's gonna work. It is now 4:30 on Wednesday. Now I'll assume, I'll assume that you've already left work, because, you know, some people leave work early, so I'll grant you that. But if I don't receive a phone call back from you by 3 o'clock Thursday afternoon I'm no longer interested and I'm going to erase your number. I don't play games like that.

I'm completely single, I'm very intelligent, I'm great in bed, I make great money. Believe it or not, I'm a complete catch. I've only been single four months; I had a long distance relationship for about a year, it's very tough to maintain it like that; there's nothing wrong with me. As a matter of fact I'm one of the few men in the city that has nothing wrong with him. So I'm giving you the three o'clock deadline. If I don't hear from you by then, you lose my number — I'm erasing your number right now, so you won't be hearing back from me.

So that's it: three o'clock tomorrow, or you can just completely forget it.

Now I understand if you've got other issues, maybe you're not playing games, I don't know… maybe you were abused in childhood?…Maybe your mother has cancer, and you're going to chemo…maybe you're just a person who's extremely frightened or has an anxiety disorder, maybe you're on some medication for that…I don't know, there could be another issue that I'm not aware of. But nobody says "Call me," hands a person a business card and then doesn't return calls. It's extremely passive aggressive. You should actually look that up, passive-aggressive personality disorder. You let me know, if you've got issues, psychological issues, if you're on any sort of medication for anxiety or depression, I'm not interested. But if you're psychologically normal, and you haven't called me because there's been some horrible thing that's happened in your life that's prevented you from returning my calls, that's fine. But otherwise? Don't call me. Okay, bye.

You can listen to the original recording here, but this, Ladies and Gentlemen, is why people still go for arranged marriages in this day and age.

[Caveat Lector: It's not entirely clear, but this Dimitri the Doofus recording is probably a fake, created as a viral marketing campaign for a movie (Douchebag: The Movie? Send in your suggestions!). It's probably why the Jezebel post refers to the initial encounter happening in San Francisco rather than Toronto, though the names remain the same.]

On Polanski

Now Playing: A Fine Frenzy - Think Of You

I've only seen two Roman Polanski movies. The first was his 1971 version of Macbeth, which we watched in OAC English class, and the second was Chinatown, which was being shown as on TVO's Saturday Night at the Movies. I had a Penguin's Guide to Classic Films, and two of his films were featured - Chinatown and Rosemary's Baby - so I knew he was a director of no small skill.

Somewhere around this point, I discovered Wikipedia, and I looked Roman Polanski up, so that I could figure out what movies of his I should watch next. I learnt he escaped the Warsaw Ghetto and survived the Holocaust, though his mother died in Auschwitz; his pregnant wife Sharon Tate had been murdered by members of the Manson family; when he was in his mid-forties, he admitted to having sex with a child of thirteen.

I use the word 'child' deliberately, because I think to refer to the victim here as a girl of thirteen is simply window dressing that disguises the true nature of Polanski's crime. The survivor, Samantha Greimer, was an aspiring model whose mother consented to a private photo-shoot with Polanski. At the very least, Polanski had sex with a child thirty years his junior; at the worst, he drugged her with a combination of champagne and quaaludes before raping her.

Once the wheels of justice were set in motion, Polanski accepted a plea bargain that saw him pleading guilty to statutory rape, rather than go to trial for rape by use of drugs, perversion, sodomy, lewd and lascivious act upon a child under 14, and furnishing a controlled substance(methaqualone) to a minor. Rather than go to prison, however, Polanski fled the United States for France, where he held citizenship and from whence he was unlikely to be extradited. He has since not visited either the United States or the United Kingdom, remaining in mainland Europe to live and work.

Last week, however, Polanski visited Switzerland to attend the Zurich Film Festival, where he was to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award. He was arrested at the airport and is being held while the Swiss review his case and decide whether or not to extradite him to the US. This has led to a wave of support for him from members of the entertainment community as well as figures in the french and polish government - Polanski holds double citizenship of both these countries - and an opposing movement which calls for justice to be carried out.

I present a sample defence of Polanski from Joan Z Shore, who is (cue double-take) the co-founder of Women Overseas For Equality, with my comments in bold, a la the fabulous Malene Arpe:

Arresting Roman Polanski the other day in Zurich, where he was to receive an honorary award at a film festival, was disgraceful and unjustifiable. Polanski, now 76, has been living in France for over thirty years read - has evaded justice for over thirty years, and has been traveling and working in Europe unhindered, but the Swiss acted on an old extradition treaty with the U.S. and seized him! Yes, how dare the Swiss uphold an international treaty! The Swiss Justice Ministry will decide whether to extradite him to the United States. Which is toooootally unfair, since he's not even Swiss, you guys!

The judge in the 1977 statutory rape case is dead. Well, if the judge is dead, you obviously get to go off scott-free... Polanski had agreed at the time to a plea bargain, but then the judge reneged on it. Um, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Polanski flee before he was sentenced? After a grand total of 42 days in jail? Polanski has tried to appeal.

But there is more to this story. The 13-year old model "seduced" by Polanski had been thrust onto him by her mother, who wanted her in the movies. Mommie Dearest foisted the girl at him! So that makes it totally okay! Candy for everyone! The girl was just a few weeks short of her 14th birthday, which was the age of consent in California. (It's probably 13 by now!) Um, I don't even know what to do with this. And you claim to be the co-founder of what appears to be a feminist organization? Rape is okay if you're close to the age of consent?!? Which I'm fairly certain is not fourteen?!? Polanski was demonized by the press, convicted, and managed to flee, fearing a heavy sentence. Well, that makes it okay then, since he was afraid of a heavy sentence. *headdesk*

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joan-z-shore/polanskis-arrest-shame-on_b_301134.html

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-ostroy/why-robert-harriss-iny-ti_b_304100.html

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-ostroy/why-robert-harriss-iny-ti_b_304100.html

Whoopi Goldberg, on The View, said, "I know it wasn't 'rape' rape. I think it was something else, but I don't believe it was 'rape' rape." So having sex with a child of thirteen was only kinda rape? sorta rape? decaf rape?

Polanski's friend, photographer Otto Weisser, was quoted on CNN as saying, "He's a brilliant guy and he made a little mistake 32 years ago -- what a shame for Switzerland."

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anna-wainwright/welcome-home-mr-polanski_b_301994.html

Um, yes, I can see how sleeping with a thirteen year old was an easy mistake to make. No, actually, I can't. Please explain? And yes, definitely, it's Switzerland that should be covering itself in shame.

Harvey Weinstein, formerly of Miramax, chimed in with an op-ed piece in The Independent:

Roman Polanski is a man who cares deeply about his art and its place in this world. What happened to him on his incredible path is filled with tragedy, and most men would have collapsed. Yes, his life has been filled with horrible tragedy. Instead, he became a great artist and continues to make great films. And along the way, he found the time to have sex with a child. I was with him the day he won the Legion of Honour in France, which was a spectacular day. I remember the incredible love and affection that people have for him. Come oooon, you guys! People like Roman! You can't send him to jail![...]

Whatever you think about the so-called crime, Polanski has served his time. Forty-two days in jail. Yeah, that should do it. Plus the past thirty years that he's spent having a family, making movies, yep, he's definitely done his time. [...]

I hope the US government acts swiftly because because film makers are looking for justice to be properly served. I will be organising the effort myself by emailing everybody I know to sign the petition. And I know that Thierry Fremaux has got hold of Nicolas Sarkozy. Sarko, mon pote! C'est moi, Thierry. Bah, ecoute, on va laisser les Americains extrader notre gars Polanski? C'est pas cool, ca, quoi?

We will have to speak to our leaders as well – particularly in California. I'm not too shy to go and talk to the Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and to ask him once and for all to look at this. Thankfully the Governator has already ruled out a gubernatorial pardon for Polanski. I never thought I'd say this, but yay Republicans!

It is a shocking way to treat such a man. Polanski went through the Holocaust and the murder of his wife, Sharon Tate, by the Manson family. Free personal trauma pass, people! How do you go from the Holocaust to the Manson family with any sort of dignity? In those circumstances, most people could not contribute to art and make the kind of beautiful movies he continues to make. This is true. I am fairly certain though, that despite their artistic deficiencies, most people might manage to keep their hands and assorted appendages off thirteen-year-old children.

I would also further direct your attention to Andy Ostroy's demolition of Robert Harris' unctuous Polanski defence in the New York Times - though I suppose you can't blame Harris, Polanski is directing a movie based on his novel The Ghost:

Harris begins with: "...His past did not bother me, any more (presumably) than it did the three French presidents with whom he has had private dinners, or the hundreds of actors and technicians who have worked with him since 1977, or the fans who come up to him in the streets of Paris for his autograph."

French presidents? Is he kidding? Middle-aged Frenchmen accept and forgive Polanski's sexually deviant behavior and that's a defense? Perhaps Harris would welcome support from Italy's scandal-plagued, teenage-girl-chasing Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi too? Are we really to let Polanski off Scot-free because movie people like him? Or because fans seek his autograph? Perhaps Harris has never witnessed the throngs of idiots who still drool all over O.J. Simpson as if he's America's former football hero instead of the brutal monster who butchered two people. And this may come as a shock to Harris: America's judicial system couldn't give a rat's ass whether certain criminal behavior bothers you or not.

Harris then asks, "Why now?" To which I reply, why the fuck not? The argument that he's been allowed to roam free for 30 years, therefore he should be allowed to stay free is moronic. Just because some lame-ass law-enforcement authorities had their collective thumbs up their asses for three decades does not give Polanski a get out of jail free card. Should we not arrest Nazi war criminals because they've been living in Argentina for 65 years and might be "liked" by their neighbors? Who cares when justice ultimately gets served, as long as it gets served. Let's keep things in perspective here: the Los Angeles DA's office has not committed any crimes. Polanski has. [...]

Harris ends his convoluted diatribe by claiming Polanski is a "doting father" who's children "want him home." I'm sure O.J.'s kids want him home, too. Again I should remind Harris that in America we don't let children decide the judicial fates of their law-breaking "doting" dads.

In his closing line, Harris smugly quotes the Romans: "So cui bono," or, "who benefits?" The criminal justice system benefits, as does every single child who can feel some comfort and security that we still have laws that protect them from sexually-perverted adult predators who seek to horrifically abuse them.

*sigh*

I am angry and saddened that so many people have reacted as if Polanski had received a life sentence for jaywalking, and then fled the the USA for Europe and its less draconian traffic laws. What Polanski did is not a little boo-boo. Not being able to travel to Los Angeles to receive your Oscar in person is not justice; it's what happens when you're on the lam from justice.

In conclusion, I just want to underline why I'm so angry, with a little help from Melissa Silverstein:

Feminists everywhere are aghast about the fact that we have lost sight that this man raped a 13-year-old girl. Feminist everywhere stand up against rape because it is endemic in our society.

So to just remind people why we are all livid about this:

• 1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime.
• In 2007, there were 248,300 victims of sexual assault.
• Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.
• Approximately 73% of rape victims know their assailants.
• Only 6% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail.
• 44% of victims are under age 18.

I never did order those other Polanski films; I don't doubt his brilliance as a director, but his behaviour has been both criminal and repugnant, as is his refusal to accept the consequences for his actions. It's my own little boycott, and I'm happier for it.